Faking My Own Suicide
by porkeepine
Summary: So I've made up my mind. I will pretend to leave this world behind, and in the end you'll know I've lied. To get your attention, I'm faking my own suicide. -based on the Relient K song- -eventual Ryella- -not a songfic-
1. Chapter 1: A Catalyst Of Some Sort

**Faking My Own Suicide**

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x Chapter 1: _A Catalyst Of Some Sort_

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x April 25th, 2008

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_So I've made up my mind. _It's a ridiculous decision, I know. She's just a girl, after all. But she's _his_ girl, and at this point, that's all that matters. I'm only a high schooler… a junior, in fact. I have my whole life ahead of me. I should be preparing myself for college and a career. My dad has made this very clear with the little family meetings that he holds, shoving college brochures in mine and Sharpay's faces.

It's at these life-planning meetings that I think about her most. Well, I don't think about _her _so much as my life _without _her. My dad suggests different things I could major in, and I don't listen. He asks me where I see myself in ten years, and I picture her. It's pathetic, really… I hardly know her.

Every time I see her she's sucking face with Troy. And it almost makes me feel bad that my heart is set on breaking them up. Their relationship has been fairly solid for the past year or so.

Troy took my place in the school musical last winter with her by his side. It was definitely a loss on my part, but as a supporting role in the show, I got to see them up close - what she was really like, what she hated about him, and what she loved. I got to see what made her frustrated and what made her giggle, what made her cry and what it was that made her smile. I got to know the more complex side of the wonder that was and is Gabriella Montez.

Gabriella has only been my friend for a short time, but already I've realized I have no chance with her. And unlike most girls, this isn't because she's stuck up or snobby, and it isn't because she's of a different class than I am. She belongs to him. We became more than acquaintances once during a drama club meeting. She'd written the school play that year as an extra credit English assignment, and with Kelsi's help, it was transformed to an elaborate rock opera. One particular number called for extremely advanced choreography, and she asked around for someone with more dance experience to help her with it. I stepped up without hesitation, and we went to the gym with a few others to work it out.

I had always admired Gabriella, and maybe even 'liked' her, but it was that day that I fell for her. When I watched her dance, even when it turned out badly, I was mystified. I don't know why, because looking back, she really was quite clumsy. It wasn't until after I gave her some serious coaching that she could properly dance the number. The day she mastered it, I took her out for ice cream to celebrate. We talked and bonded, and from then up until now, our friendship has evolved.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't 'evolved' very much. We're nowhere near that more-than-friends classification, and I know she doesn't want to be. I do. At the rate we are going, we'll never get there. Our relationship needs a catalyst of some sort - something to speed it up, at least before my senior year. And drastic times often call for drastic measures. I've just never been the daring kind of person.

This time, I'm taking the most drastic of all measures. Yes. I'm faking my own suicide.

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**It's short. Sorry. I hope you guys aren't mad at me for posting another story. I have the WHIV chapter done, but my computer froze before I could save it, so I have to retype the whole thing up, and it's too boring to do that again right now. I have another story idea too… But I'm going to write a few more chapters before posting that one, because I'm not quite sure it's a good idea.**

**This story is based off of the song "Faking My Own Suicide" by Relient K. It's an awesome song, and if you haven't heard it… search YouTube or something.**

**Review please. Should I continue? Let moi know.**

- Sami


	2. Chapter 2: How To Be Dead

**Faking My Own Suicide**

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x Chapter 2: _How To Be Dead_

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x April 27th, 2008

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"_I will pretend_," I said slowly, explaining my plan to Sharpay for the eighteenth time. "Do I have to go over it again?"

"So you're _not_ killing yourself?" she asked for what seemed like the billionth time. I shook my head.

"No. I'm only _pretending_," I said, trying to be as clear as possible. There are certain times, like when the discussion revolves around Prada or hair salons or nail polish, that Sharpay can jump right into a conversation and offer opinion and commentary. But it doesn't get much deeper than that, and while I hate speaking to my 16-year-old twin like she's a toddler, I'm often given no choice.

"To get with Gabriella?" she asked. I nodded. "Why don't you just walk up to her and ask her out or something?"

"Well there are a couple reasons, but it's mainly because that typically doesn't work outside the world of conceited, snobby whores," I answered sarcastically. She proudly smiled to herself. Gosh, how stupid is she? She doesn't even recognize an insult.

"Why are you telling me this?"

I looked her in the eyes and answered. "Because I need someone to be able to talk to and correspond with… and you're the best I could find."

"I have to keep this a secret?" she questioned in an unsure voice.

"Yes! If you tell anyone, I swear…"

"No, no. I won't, I guess. But I don't know if I want to help you do this. I mean, Troy and Gabriella seem really happy together," she said.

"Since when are you a supporter of _their_ relationship?! What was it all summer when you were out to get them?" I screamed at her, frustrated that she was pulling excuses out of thin air.

"I don't know."

"If this works, Troy is all yours. Don't you realize that?" I reasoned. "Come on, Shar. I'm desperate."

"Why is this so important? They'll break up by themselves eventually."

"You don't know that. They could get married and have fourteen kids for all we know!" I said.

"But why do this? It's so…extreme."

"I don't really know. It just feels right."

"Whatever…" she trailed off. "I guess you can count me in. I think you should tell Mom about it, though."

"Are you kidding me? She'd freak. I only told you because you have the comprehension level of a six-year-old. Mom would not agree… _Definitely_ not," I told her, surprised that she would even suggest that.

"You should tell _somebody_!"

"I told you!"

"Yeah, but you should tell someone else too. Anyone else," she said.

"Like who?"

"I don't know… Chad or Troy or… _someone_!"

"Troy?! Yeah, great idea. 'Hey Troy, I'm gonna pretend to kill myself to break you and Gabs up. Are you okay with that?' Fabulous idea, Sharpay. Fan-fucking-tabulous."

"Hey! Sorry-y. I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly."

"Fine, then. Be mean. I'll just leave," she said with a pout, standing up from her seat on my computer chair.

"No! I'm sorry. I need your help… Could you… help me plan this thing?"

"Your fake death, you mean?" she said, sitting back in the blue swivel chair and propping her feet on the computer desk.

"Yeah… If that's what you wan to call it." I sat on my bed, directly across from her. "I'm trying to figure out, you know, how to make it seem like I'm really dead if they have no body."

"Well, what if you make it seem like you jumped into that canyon a couple miles down the road?" she suggested. I shook my head in disagreement..

"There'd still have to be a body at the bottom. It would just be really messed up looking."

"Well, they might think the vultures ate it," she said.

"Ate what? My body? What about the bones? Birds don't eat those. Plus, there aren't many vultures around here. "

"You could fake-jump off a bridge, like into water. Maybe stage it so that someone sees you jump."

"That's an idea… To have an eyewitness. That could work if it was played right. I don't think the water thing would work, though. I mean, there'd still need to be a body, and… there's not much water around here," I said thoughtfully.

"Well that's all I can think of. I really don't see how anything's going to work. You might as well just write a suicide note and disappear," she said. I froze as her idea hit me.

"That's it, Sharpay." I exclaimed. "I'll write a suicide note and leave it behind, saying that I've killed myself. Maybe then they'll believe me, even if they have nothing to investigate."

"Works for me." She slid her feet from the desktop and began to spin around in the chair. She went faster and faster, then screeched to a halting stop as an idea apparently popped into her head. "Ryan!" she yelled suddenly. "What are you going to do about a funeral?!"

This hadn't even crossed my mind, but then it was quite apparent. After all, when one dies, a funeral comes with the territory.

"Well, I guess we leave that up to them," I answered after thinking for a few moments.

"Funerals cost a lot of money. You're just gonna let Mom and Daddy waste all that on a funeral for someone who's still alive?"

"Erm… I guess not. I don't have any money, though. What could I even do about it?"

"Does this mean a lot to you?" she asked. I nodded vigorously. "And you really think it will work?"

"I hope it will."

"Well then, I guess we can leave behind some of my extra cash if it's that important."

"'Extra cash?' You mean you have a couple thousand dollars just sitting around?" I asked. She rolled her eyes as if the answer were obvious.

"You'll need to pay me back, of course… Maybe you could get a job while you're dead?"

"Yep. Once I figure out where I'm going."

"You haven't figured that out yet?" she asked, incredulous.

"No… Any suggestions?"

"No, I figured you already had at least some idea of a place. Where could you stay anyway? I mean you said so yourself: you don't have money."

"I dunno. Maybe I could stay with someone. Hey, what if I went to San Francisco? Isn't that where Shawn moved to?" I offered.

"Yeah, I think that's where he is now." Sharpay stood and began to pace back and forth, deep in thought… or, as deep in thought as a person like Sharpay is capable of.

"Do you think he'd have me? He's our cousin, though. He could rat me out to Mom and Dad."

"Call him and ask then."

"Yeah. Maybe I will" I sighed.

"Do you know when… um… you're gonna do it?"

"Probably on Saturday. Mom'll be at that show dog convention all day, and Dad leaves for Berlin tomorrow, so he'll be gone all weekend. That should give me enough time to leave the note and get away."

"That soon?" she gasped. "Sheesh."

"Yeah."

"Yup."

"Mmhmm…" An awkward silence fell over us, until something hit me, and I knew I had to ask.

"Sharpay?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I do this… What if I go to all this trouble… and she still doesn't like me?"

"You suck it up… and move on."

"What if I can't?"

"Then you might as well jump off that bridge we talked about… because there's no sense in living if you can't let go of what wasn't meant to be."

"That's the deepest thing you've said in… a really long time," I told her.

"Well I'm glad you liked it. Because I can't remember a single word I just said."

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**So Sharpay's in on it now. Next chapter: Ryan writes his suicide letter. **

**Please review!! I won't update until I get at least five more reviews… which isn't too much to ask since that's all I got for the first chapter.**

- Sami


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